I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
