Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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