I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
