We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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