My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
