Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize