Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
