just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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