Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
