I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I wish I only lived at night.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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