Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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