3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
