dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
