I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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