just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
