i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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