Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
babies were throwing up all over the place
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Church boner. Awkwardddd
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
