Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
