it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
