Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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