I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize