You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Dignity is for republicans.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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