ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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