Say something about gay babies.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
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Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
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I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.