so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
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Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
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I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.