you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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