About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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