I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize