The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
And then my night got REAL pukey
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
