Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
