Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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