My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize