my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
she pinky promised me she was 18
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize