If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I've blown a few things in my day
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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