Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
