I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
It's Friday. Sex?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
