Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
