yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
