She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize