don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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