i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
