yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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