I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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