You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
