Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize