This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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