i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
