The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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