4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
