great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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