She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
