Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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