just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
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We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
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The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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