wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
