Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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