I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
